Managing Expectations: How to Handle Blended Family Summer Visits

Summer is supposed to be fun, right? Then why does it sometimes feel like an emotional rollercoaster in blended families? Between kids coming and going, co-parenting logistics, and adjusting to new dynamics, summer visits can bring all the feelings.

Let’s take a deep breath and walk through how to make summer visits a little smoother.

Expectation vs. Reality: Why Summer Feels Hard

In your mind, summer might look like bonding over bonfires and road trips. But reality? It often includes unexpected schedule changes, kids adjusting to different household rules, and moments of tension between families. And that’s normal.

The key to a smoother summer is managing expectations—yours and everyone else’s.

Clear Communication is Everything

If summer visits always feel stressful, ask yourself: Do I know what I’m expecting? And does my family?

• Talk with your spouse about the plan. What are the non-negotiables? What are the “nice-to-haves”? Getting on the same page before the kids arrive helps prevent conflict later.

• Prepare the kids for transitions. If they’re bouncing between homes, they may feel unsettled at first. Let them know what to expect and give them space to adjust.

• Be flexible, but have boundaries. Maybe your stepchild’s other home has different bedtimes or screen-time rules. That’s okay! Instead of trying to control everything, focus on what you can offer: a home that feels safe and welcoming.

Let Go of the Pressure to Make It “Perfect”

News flash: You don’t have to make every moment magical for it to be meaningful. Kids don’t need perfection—they need connection. And sometimes, connection looks like:

• Laughing together over a burnt batch of cookies.

• Having a heart-to-heart chat during a sunset walk.

• Letting go of an activity that isn’t working and just relaxing instead.

Give Yourself Grace (and a Break!)

Not every day will go smoothly, and that’s okay. Blended family summers can be messy, but they can also be beautiful. Focus on what you can control—your attitude, your boundaries, and the way you show up with love.

Need support? Join The Studio, where we talk about real-life blended family challenges and wins. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. [Join here.]