Setting boundaries can feel a little like teaching a toddler to stay out of the cookie jar. At first, they’ll push every limit to see if you really mean it. But over time, with consistency, they learn that “no” actually means “no.”
As a stepmom, boundaries are your lifeline. They protect your peace, preserve your energy, and create healthier relationships. But let’s be real—setting them isn’t always easy, especially when emotions are high.
When I first started setting boundaries, I worried I was being “too harsh” or “not loving enough.” But here’s what I’ve learned: Boundaries are loving. They teach people how to treat you while also creating space for genuine connection.
For example, if you set a boundary around how you’ll communicate with your partner’s ex, it’s not about being mean or rigid—it’s about protecting your emotional well-being so you can show up as your best self for your family.
Once, a client told me she felt like a “boundary failure” because she kept caving when her stepchild pushed back. I reminded her that boundaries aren’t about perfection—they’re about practice. The more consistent you are, the more others will respect your limits.
Here’s a tip: When you communicate a boundary, keep it simple and firm, but kind. For instance:
Instead of: “I really wish you wouldn’t do that, but it’s okay if you do...”
Try: “I’m not comfortable with that, so let’s find a different solution.”
It’s not about controlling others—it’s about honoring yourself.
Boundaries aren’t a wall to keep people out. They’re a bridge that creates healthier, more respectful relationships. And trust me, you’re worth every single one of them.
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