There was a period of time in our family when everything felt like reaction mode.

My daughter needed help with homework, my stepson had a meltdown over chores, the baby was crying, and my husband and I were quietly keeping score on who was doing more.

Fun times.

But what finally pulled us out of the cycle wasn’t a chore chart or a parenting podcast. It was this simple shift: we stopped asking "How do we survive this?" and started asking "What kind of family are we trying to build?"

That’s the power of a family vision.

So, what is a family vision, really?

It’s not a business plan. It’s not a Pinterest-worthy mission statement. It’s a compass.

A family vision gives you and your spouse a shared why behind your parenting decisions, emotional labor, and even your bedtime routines. And when the hard days come (because they will), it reminds you what matters most.

Here’s how you can create your own.

1. Start with your marriage.

Get quiet with your partner. Ask: What kind of home do we want to create? What values do we want our kids to grow up with? What do we want our marriage to feel like five years from now?

You don’t have to agree on everything (spoiler: you won’t), but you’ll probably find some beautiful overlap—like kindness, honesty, peace, or fun.

2. Choose 3-5 core values.

These are your anchors. Ours include kindness, honesty, personal responsibility, and laughter (because we NEED it). When things feel chaotic, we come back to these.

One time we were having a super hard day and my daughter actually said, "Hey, what happened to kindness today?" Oof. Kids are always watching.

3. Make decisions through that lens.

Once your vision is clear, it becomes your filter. From screen time limits to holiday plans to how you respond to sass, you’re no longer winging it. You’re building something intentional.

4. Revisit it often.

Your family isn’t static. Seasons change. Kids grow. New challenges pop up. Revisit your vision together every few months and ask, Is this still serving us? What needs to shift?

Having a family vision doesn’t make you immune to hard days. But it DOES give you a sense of purpose on the hard days.

And that’s what changes everything.

In a blended family, where it can feel like so many pieces are moving in different directions, a shared vision helps everyone row in the same direction, even if they’re not all rowing in sync yet.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need a north star.

Want help getting clarity on your vision or where your blended family might be misaligned?

👉 Book your Family Dynamics Audit today. I'll send you a custom video with personalized insights (and no judgment).

And come follow the real-life mess and magic on Instagram: @itsmebrittneyp.

You're doing better than you think.