If there were a trophy for “Holiday Stress MVP,” I think moms in blended families would win it every year.

Because let’s be real: Trying to meet everyone’s expectations during the holidays feels like a full-time job with no bonus and a guaranteed breakdown.

You’ve got kids bouncing between houses, co-parents with rigid schedules, in-laws asking for traditions you don’t even like, and a partner who just wants peace (don’t we all). Meanwhile, you’re juggling your own hopes and trying not to lose yourself in the process.

I’ve been there.

One year, I hid in the pantry to hide my discouragement on Christmas Eve because my bonus son had to leave early, my daughter missed her old traditions, and no one even noticed the fancy brunch I made.

But that moment taught me something important: Stress usually comes from trying to manage things we don’t control.

Let’s talk about what is in your control and how you can show up differently this year.

Step 1: Check in with yourself before you check everyone’s schedules

I know you want to keep the peace. But your emotional state sets the tone for the entire house.

Before you start coordinating drop-offs and gift lists, ask yourself:

• What do I want this year?

• What would help me feel connected, not just responsible?

• What am I willing to release, even if others still expect it?

You get to have needs too. And honoring them doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you sustainable.

Step 2: Normalize different experiences under one roof

In blended families, no two people have the same story…or expectations.

One child might be mourning their other parent. Another might be hyper about presents. Your partner might be nostalgic. You might be exhausted.

And that’s okay. Different doesn’t mean broken.

This season, try saying: “It’s okay if we all feel a little differently right now. We can still be together.”

That kind of emotional permission makes room for peace.

Step 3: Pre-decide what’s worth it

Every year, I pre-decide two or three things that truly matter to me. The rest? I hold loosely.

For example:

• I care deeply about going to church together on Christmas Eve

• I love writing each child a short note to go with their gift

• I want to spend one night watching Elf in our jammies

Everything else (fancy meals, holiday cards, perfect gifts) becomes optional. That’s not failure. That’s focus.

Step 4: Lower the bar on perfection, raise it on connection

You don’t need a magazine-worthy holiday. You need presence, not pressure.

If the sugar cookies burn or the teenager rolls their eyes or the ex changes the pickup time again… you can breathe.

Because this is what blended family holidays are: a little messy, a little sacred, and entirely yours to shape.

Need support staying grounded this season?
My resources were made for this kind of chaos.
Check out BlendingBravely.com/products, or schedule a Family Dynamics Audit to get custom support for your family.
And follow along for more tips and encouragement on Instagram: @itsmebrittneyp