Let’s be honest... Thanksgiving in a blended family can feel a little like trying to host a potluck where half the guests didn’t RSVP, a few show up late, and someone brings drama instead of dessert.

If you’re anything like me, you want this season to feel warm, connected, and (let’s be real) not like a war zone of conflicting schedules and emotional landmines. I get it. I’ve lived it. Our "yours, mine, and ours" crew includes one awesome stepson, one strong-willed daughter from my first marriage, and two girls my husband and I share. So yes, our holidays are anything but simple.

But over the years, I’ve learned a few things that have helped us not just survive Thanksgiving, but actually enjoy it. So if you’re dreading the upcoming holiday shuffle, this is for you.

1. Lower the Bar (on Purpose)

Let’s stop pretending like a "perfect Thanksgiving" is the goal. It’s not. Peace, presence, and progress? Now those are worth aiming for.

I remember one year when I tried to be Super Stepmom of the Season—handmade pies, picture-perfect table, coordinating outfits... and by noon I was pulling my hair out in the bathroom because the schedule changed, someone forgot their nice shoes, and the mashed potatoes tasted like paste.

That was the year I realized: perfection was ruining our peace.

Now, I ask myself, "What would make this feel meaningful and manageable?" Sometimes it means letting go of who's around the table and focusing more on how we treat each other when we sit down.

2. Get Clear on Priorities, Not Just Plans

Blended families often have rotating custody schedules, extended family obligations, and traditions that don't always blend easily.

Before the holiday hits, talk with your partner about what matters most. Is it the meal? The memory-making? The flexibility? Maybe it’s not even celebrating on the actual day.

We once did "Thanksgiving Eve" because that’s when we had all the kids together. It wasn’t traditional, but it was intentional. And that made all the difference.

3. Include Without Forcing

The truth is that not everyone is going to feel like one big happy family. That doesn’t mean you’re failing.

Try this instead: create open invitations. You can say, "We’d love to have you join us, and if it doesn’t work this year, that’s okay too." This takes the pressure off and allows genuine connection to grow without force.

4. Add Something That’s Just Yours

In the chaos of merging schedules and navigating emotions, make space for one small tradition that belongs to just your household.

In our home, it’s a silly gratitude game where we each share one thing we’re thankful for and one thing we’d be okay never seeing on the Thanksgiving table again (spoiler: green bean casserole loses every year).

It brings laughter, connection, and a sense of identity to our version of the holiday.

Final Thoughts: Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be picture-perfect to be perfectly meaningful.

Whether you’re juggling custody calendars or figuring out how to make your great-grandma’s pie gluten-free, know this: you’re not doing it wrong. It’s just really hard. And that means you’re in good company here.

Need more support?

Check out my family products and guides, or schedule a Family Dynamics Audit for just $37 if you're feeling overwhelmed and want personal insight.

Or just come hang out with me on Instagram @itsmebrittneyp where I share behind-the-scenes stories and practical tips for women like you.

You've got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.