Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re trying to get the kids out the door, the clock is ticking, the tension is building, and your partner is just... chill. Maybe even scrolling their phone. And you're over here about to explode because HOW is that helpful right now?!

Oh girl. I have so been there.

Parenting in a blended family will stretch you in ways you never saw coming. Especially when your partner’s approach feels totally foreign to you. I used to think we had to agree on everything to be a strong team. But spoiler alert: we don’t.

That Morning That Changed Everything

There was this one morning I will never forget...me buzzing around like a tornado, trying to make lunches, find shoes, and herd kids to the car, while my husband was... scrolling on his phone. Like, actually relaxing. I was furious.

But instead of exploding or retreating into my usual silent frustration, I asked him, “What does a good morning look like to you?”

That one question cracked something open. Turns out, he’d grown up in a home where calm = success. Me? I was raised to move fast, stay alert, and always do. It wasn’t about laziness or lack of support, it was about two nervous systems trying to protect what they valued most.

Curiosity Over Criticism (Always)

Here’s what I’ve learned: When we get curious instead of critical, everything softens.

So now, instead of jumping to conclusions, I ask:

• “What’s your hope in handling it that way?”

• “What did parenting look like for you growing up?”

• “Is this more about the behavior or what it represents?”

These convos don’t have to be super deep or dramatic. But they do help us get to the root instead of staying stuck in the symptoms.

Teamwork > Same-ness

I used to think unity meant saying and doing all the same things. Now I know it means standing side by side, even when we come at things from different angles.

It means:

• Trusting each other’s intentions, even if we don’t love each other’s methods

• Setting shared values for the family, but not micromanaging every move

• Presenting a united front to the kids, even when we’re still figuring things out behind the scenes

Friend, you don’t need to fix him. You just need to understand him. (And honestly? That goes both ways.)

Need help seeing where the disconnects are and how to get on the same page? Check out my downloadables and coaching resources.
Want personalized support? Grab a Family Dynamics Audit for just $37.
Come find me on Instagram @itsmebrittneyp—I share the raw, the real, and the funny.